Research: Liminality

I recently started reading a new book, Single by Chance, Mothers by Choice: How Women are Choosing Parenthood Without Marriage and Creating the New American Family by Rosanna Hertz. The book explores the stories of several single mothers, what brought them to that situation, and how they are finding their place within it, as well as the societal and psychological implications of their choices and lifestyles. According to the earliest chapters, many women choose to become single mothers in spite of our society's expectations of love-then-marriage-then-children due to their inability (or lack of desire) to sacrifice their independence to a mate. Hertz states that "The combination of priceless children and the tenacity of compulsory motherhood's hold on women is the driving force behind many women's intense desire for children,a desire that collides with the reality of their independent lives. In order to defuse this conflict, women must form a new kind of family, of which mother and child form the core, as they try to make sense of the gradual dissolution of the nuclear family" (pg 5).

That was just one little bit, and it is a very interesting read, but the real point of this post is that through Hertz's book I was (re)introduced to the idea of liminality, and it occurred to me that I myself am in a sort of liminal state.

Liminality (from the Latin limen, meaning "threshold") is a psychological, neurological, or metaphysical subjective, conscious state of being on the "threshold" of or between two different existential planes (see Wiki article here). According to Hertz, a liminal state for a single mother is "a period of uncertainty that can last for months, even years, during which a woman's identity is suspended between the person she was and the person she wants to be" (pg 24). For me, this can be directly related to the fact that I had a partner, I was not only a mother, but a person in love. Now that aspect of my life has been removed, and I am left alone in the world of parenting. This is not where I would ideally be, but I love my son and must embrace the situation for his sake (and my sanity.) I am clearly at this place of being in between, and it is time to sink or swim.

I am excited about being able to apply a word to these feelings that I have been having and trying to express, and I think I have come to the realization that I have not been expressing myself effectively through the Photoshopped images I have been posting so far. I am now considering taking a different approach - collage - that I feel will not only open a whole new realm of possibilities for my images, but also help to convey this liminal space that I am currently existing in. In the collaged images I am going to start making, I will most likely appear to be disproportioned and oddly fit into the spaces I will occupy with Henry - but that is how my life is right now. There are a few things in life that I am absolutely certain about - such as the fact that I love Henry more than anything - but for the most part I haven't quite found my place. However, I am quickly walking towards it. I will post new images as soon as I can! I am starting to get excited. It's about time. . .